


The Good Book

by thnksfrthwilliam



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Biblical References, Blasphemy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-03
Updated: 2012-08-03
Packaged: 2017-11-11 08:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/476736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thnksfrthwilliam/pseuds/thnksfrthwilliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another fic inspired by Stephen Colbert and his horrible jokes.</p><p>Warning: This could be /really/ offensive to some people’s religious beliefs, so read at your own risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Good Book

Sam sighed, rolling over so he was laying on his right side, hoping a change in position would help him get to sleep. He looked over at the red glow of the clock on the bedside table- 4:00 AM. He sat up and flicked on the lamp, pushing his long hair out of his eyes. Dean was still out drinking, had been for the last five hours. But Sam could live with that, he was used to it after cohabitating with his brother for so long. He was more bothered by the fact that Gabriel hadn't been around for over a week. Sam realized that Important Angel Business took precedence over visiting a single human, even if Gabe was sleeping with said human ( _You're not the only human he's sleeping with, y’know- why would he settle for one who’s so broken when he can have so many more_  Sam's mind supplied), but he couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed that Gabriel hadn’t so much as sent him a stupid text in the past ten days. 

He considered going to grab his laptop to pass the time, but without a hunt to research at the moment, he had little reason to do so. He sighed, looking back over at the clock. 4:05 AM 

The drawer in the little side table was open slightly and Sam could see the dark blue cover of a Bible inside- without fail, the holy book was in every motel room the Winchesters had ever stayed in (It was a constant that Sam used to check for every time they got to a new town when he needed something that never changed). He sighed, pulling the drawer open the rest of the way and plucking the book out. In times past, when he was younger and had faith, he would always read the Bible before bed, drinking in the stories of old and even praying afterwards. He found sanctuary in the book of Job, then- a man who was tested to extremes, but who still remained faithful and resolute. Sam always wished he could be that strong in faith (or simply that strong) - he found out later that he was certainly not (it's rather difficult to remain faithful to an absent God whose angelic children are all dicks). 

Sam flipped the book open, searching for Job out of habit, wanting something familiar and safe when his life was anything but at the moment. He sighed when he located the correct page number and raised an eyebrow at the title he found there. He mouthed the words to himself as he looked them over- "Rim Job". Sam frowned a little. The word Rim wasn't written in with ink like the usual lewd comments and doodles in motel room Bibles- it was typed, as if it belonged there. 

"What the hell..." Sam muttered to himself, beginning to read the chapter. 

The story was still that of Job and the many tests his faith was put through, but rather than the ones Sam remembered, the tests were all sexual in nature. He couldn't help smiling at how ridiculous it all was. He flat out laughed when Job had to 'lay with a goat to show his true faith in his Father'. 

Sam flipped through a few more chapters, finding '2 Kings, 1 Cup', ‘Titust Virgin’, and 'Matthew/Mark/Luke/John', skimming the verses with a smile and a faint blush.

"I love seeing you smile, kiddo." 

Sam looked up, far too used to angels suddenly appearing to even be surprised. 

"Did you do this?" Sam asked, going for an accusing tone, but ending up sounding amused. 

Gabe raised his hands in surrender. "Guilty." 

"Isn't this blasphemy?" 

Gabriel shrugged. "Sure- but when have I ever been a nice pious angel?" he said, waggling his eyebrows at Sam before settling on a more pleasant quirk of his lips. "Besides, I love seeing that smile of yours, Sammy." 

The archangel settled himself on the bed next to Sam, taking the book from his hands and putting it back in the drawer with a mirthful smile. 

"I've missed you, kiddo- a whole week is an awful long time to go without that huge cock of yours," Gabriel whispered in Sam's ear. 

Sam rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. "You're an ass, you know that right?" 

Gabe nodded, kissing him. "Luckily I don't let it keep me up at night. I really have missed you though- all of you, not just your impressive manhood."

Sam snorted, but the soft smile Gabriel was giving him made him pause. "I've missed you too, Gabe."

The tender moment didn't last- Gabriel was far too eager to get to the good stuff- but even after Gabe left to attend to more business in Heaven, Sam couldn't help the smile that lingered on his face as he finally got to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> In case it's not clear, the books I made jokes about (besides Job, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) are Titus and 2 Kings.


End file.
